Communication+Me= HORRIBLE!

October 15, 2009



Communication. One of the many things I am terrible with. I very rarely tell anyone how I feel, what I think, what I'm feeling, what I want and so on. I don't tell my best friend, my mother, my family, not one person. It's all stored inside of me. I have a hard time with opening up. Sometimes I'm grateful for it, and other times...I just wish I had the power to be open and let people see what I feel. But I don't.



I can honestly say I write my feelings down better than I can say them. I can write down what I think better than I can say it. Unless of course I'm telling a person what I think of them, but even then I sometimes can't. Communicating is hard for me. And I hate public speaking.



I guess I'm kind of shy as well, but it's in a reserved and cautious kind of way. It's not in a "Blushing at every word that's said to me" kind of way. I'm not good with people. When a person says something and I don't think it's important or interesting I don't really say anything. It's very hard for me to explain seeing as it's my problem. I don't freeze up when a person talks to me, but like I said, if it's not important or interesting, I say nothing.



It's hard online at times as well. If a person is making small talk with me I don't think of anything to really say because I do not know that person. It's almost amazing I've made a few friends online on Twitter!



I was talking to someone on Twitter and he said that when I write about my communication problem to give him the link for it. But I really don't know what to say about this. Is that another sign that I'm a bad communicator? Maybe.



Maybe I just need lessons on this stuff. Is there a class for that? Blogging and communicating, that is. Probably. They seem to have a class for almost everything. I could do that. It would be hard for me. Because the class would probably make me stand up in front of others and talk to them about a certain subject that the teacher chooses. Which really sucks. I'm not sure what to do.



I used to be able to talk with my mom about anything. Same with my best friend. But over the past 4 years things have changed for me and about me. People say change is good and I used to think so. But is it really? When that change is so bad?