I've Found You....I've Lost You

I've said before that I'm not ready to tell the story of my Dad, but this is for him. This is the mist of what I feel right now. This is for you Daddy.

Reaching for the sky, as I'm falling on the ground.

Determined not to hit the dirt.

I've held it all in so well.

But as I descend I rush out with doubt.

I'm not sure if I can win, not sure if I'll lose

This emotion controls me

As I fall I begin to cry.

Because I've lost you now and I don't understand why

I miss you, I have my whole life.

I found you, I lost you in the same year.

I found you, I love you.

I've lost you, I'm broken

I've lost you and I'm losing myself too.

Hitting the dirt, crying on the ground.

Lost in fury, lost in grief.

I can't find you, can't find myself.

My hearts in shreds, lost in dread.

I can not understand why life has tricked me so.

As soon as you're here you're gone

I cry, I'm torn.

I scream, not heard.

I want to fight like hell.

I want to curse at the world.

Because I've lost you now and I don't understand why

I miss you, I have my whole life.

I found you, I love you!

I found you, I lost you in a year.

I've lost you, I'm broken

I've lost you and I'm slowly losing myself too.

Hurting

Crying

Screaming

Bleeding

Can't find myself anymore

As soon as we were found we got lost

In the cruelty of the world, in life

You left me

You took my heart and killed it

I never got to say hi

I didn't want to say goodbye

But I've got my memory

And maybe that's all I need for now

Till we meet again

Know that I love you always, Daddy.