October 15, 2009
Communication. One of the many things I am terrible with. I very rarely tell anyone how I feel, what I think, what I'm feeling, what I want and so on. I don't tell my best friend, my mother, my family, not one person. It's all stored inside of me. I have a hard time with opening up. Sometimes I'm grateful for it, and other times...I just wish I had the power to be open and let people see what I feel. But I don't.
I can honestly say I write my feelings down better than I can say them. I can write down what I think better than I can say it. Unless of course I'm telling a person what I think of them, but even then I sometimes can't. Communicating is hard for me. And I hate public speaking.
I guess I'm kind of shy as well, but it's in a reserved and cautious kind of way. It's not in a "Blushing at every word that's said to me" kind of way. I'm not good with people. When a person says something and I don't think it's important or interesting I don't really say anything. It's very hard for me to explain seeing as it's my problem. I don't freeze up when a person talks to me, but like I said, if it's not important or interesting, I say nothing.
It's hard online at times as well. If a person is making small talk with me I don't think of anything to really say because I do not know that person. It's almost amazing I've made a few friends online on Twitter!
I was talking to someone on Twitter and he said that when I write about my communication problem to give him the link for it. But I really don't know what to say about this. Is that another sign that I'm a bad communicator? Maybe.
Maybe I just need lessons on this stuff. Is there a class for that? Blogging and communicating, that is. Probably. They seem to have a class for almost everything. I could do that. It would be hard for me. Because the class would probably make me stand up in front of others and talk to them about a certain subject that the teacher chooses. Which really sucks. I'm not sure what to do.
I used to be able to talk with my mom about anything. Same with my best friend. But over the past 4 years things have changed for me and about me. People say change is good and I used to think so. But is it really? When that change is so bad?
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Twitter and Why I Use It
October 13, 2009
Twitter. Such a beautiful and unique website, tool, place, whatever you want to call it. I am addicted. Once I get internet on my computers I'll be able to do a lot more with it. Hopefully. I really do enjoy it, the applications for it seem interesting. I can't wait to get a Blackberry so I can get the application for that. I like trying to figure out how to work something, technology, that it. I'm not much for a Rubix cube, I feel like throwing that thing against a wall or throwing it on the floor and smashing it with a hammer whenever I try to fix the damn thing.
Off subject, again. It won't be the last probably. Back to Twitter. So far I've talked with some interesting people. Only a fair few that I talk with regularly such as @XRoger_Cx and @Intel_Eric and @DrJays and @Michelangelo200 and @Sveta_1990 and a few more whose names I might mention when I remember later. I'm horrible with names. Oh and @JerryJClarke as well. I talk with those people the most I think. And I like them. They are very interesting to me. Different people on a site that hosts millions of people, a site that gave me these people to talk with, these people that I deem as interesting and kind. (And I really hope they don't mind my using their names cause I didn't ask if I could.)
I'm a picky person when it comes to people. When I follow someone it's either because they have a good cause they are promoting or a business I like. Or people I find them interesting and maybe a bit intriguing. If I'm in a very good mood though, I follow someone because they were kind enough to follow me in the first place. But it's not an often moment for me.
Why do I Twitter? Many people have asked me this. I only say a fragment of the truth and not the whole. I first started Tweeting because I had nothing else better to do. Really. I am not even kidding. I don't work, and do not, as of yet, go to school. So I was bored and decided when I was in San Diego on vacation, I was going to get onto Twitter and figure out why it was so popular. I had first gotten my account in May and I tweeted once and didn't see what the big deal was. So I didn't log into my account or anything until September this year. When I was in California I got wireless internet on my laptop because a friend had it at her house. So I logged on, changed my username from MysticGypsy to @Gypsyladyamber for some reason that I don't know. I set it all up, my bio and avatar and looked celebs up because no one I knew had an account at that time, well that I knew of. So I followed them and they brought other people to my attention and I really got into talking to people and then reading articles they tweeted and so on.
The truth is I now tweet because one- I do have nothing to do besides write and clean. Two- I enjoy reading things that are tweeted. Three- I like the people on there so far. and the biggest reason- I LOVE that Twitter offers a world of various people with various differences from myself and other on Twitter. It's kind of hard to explain. Twitter is an odd thing for me, because I am horrible with talking to strangers in reality, but Twitter makes it easy for me to talk with others and get to know them. Am I saying this clearly?
Twitter seems to come up with something for EVERYBODY! It's amazing and brilliant. It really is. You can find people with the same interests or the opposite. You can find people with causes, people who do things that mean something to them. People with business, public speakers, authors, actors, Social Media experts, hard labor workers who love life, doctors...I could really go on and on but why not see for yourself? Twitter really is brilliant.
I may not be there for the best reason or be the most popular on there or anything like that, I believe in Twitter and it's power and benefits. I mean you find out about things faster than you do the TV News channels! About charities, causes, people, meetings, new technology, problems with the world and things in it and so much more. Twitter users help their friends on there, it's astounding how many benefits and amazing little details and magnificent people are on Twitter!!!
If you don't have an account, get one and try it for 2 months, because it took me less than that time to figure out what Twitter is about. Though there is always MORE too!
Twitter. Such a beautiful and unique website, tool, place, whatever you want to call it. I am addicted. Once I get internet on my computers I'll be able to do a lot more with it. Hopefully. I really do enjoy it, the applications for it seem interesting. I can't wait to get a Blackberry so I can get the application for that. I like trying to figure out how to work something, technology, that it. I'm not much for a Rubix cube, I feel like throwing that thing against a wall or throwing it on the floor and smashing it with a hammer whenever I try to fix the damn thing.
Off subject, again. It won't be the last probably. Back to Twitter. So far I've talked with some interesting people. Only a fair few that I talk with regularly such as @XRoger_Cx and @Intel_Eric and @DrJays and @Michelangelo200 and @Sveta_1990 and a few more whose names I might mention when I remember later. I'm horrible with names. Oh and @JerryJClarke as well. I talk with those people the most I think. And I like them. They are very interesting to me. Different people on a site that hosts millions of people, a site that gave me these people to talk with, these people that I deem as interesting and kind. (And I really hope they don't mind my using their names cause I didn't ask if I could.)
I'm a picky person when it comes to people. When I follow someone it's either because they have a good cause they are promoting or a business I like. Or people I find them interesting and maybe a bit intriguing. If I'm in a very good mood though, I follow someone because they were kind enough to follow me in the first place. But it's not an often moment for me.
Why do I Twitter? Many people have asked me this. I only say a fragment of the truth and not the whole. I first started Tweeting because I had nothing else better to do. Really. I am not even kidding. I don't work, and do not, as of yet, go to school. So I was bored and decided when I was in San Diego on vacation, I was going to get onto Twitter and figure out why it was so popular. I had first gotten my account in May and I tweeted once and didn't see what the big deal was. So I didn't log into my account or anything until September this year. When I was in California I got wireless internet on my laptop because a friend had it at her house. So I logged on, changed my username from MysticGypsy to @Gypsyladyamber for some reason that I don't know. I set it all up, my bio and avatar and looked celebs up because no one I knew had an account at that time, well that I knew of. So I followed them and they brought other people to my attention and I really got into talking to people and then reading articles they tweeted and so on.
The truth is I now tweet because one- I do have nothing to do besides write and clean. Two- I enjoy reading things that are tweeted. Three- I like the people on there so far. and the biggest reason- I LOVE that Twitter offers a world of various people with various differences from myself and other on Twitter. It's kind of hard to explain. Twitter is an odd thing for me, because I am horrible with talking to strangers in reality, but Twitter makes it easy for me to talk with others and get to know them. Am I saying this clearly?
Twitter seems to come up with something for EVERYBODY! It's amazing and brilliant. It really is. You can find people with the same interests or the opposite. You can find people with causes, people who do things that mean something to them. People with business, public speakers, authors, actors, Social Media experts, hard labor workers who love life, doctors...I could really go on and on but why not see for yourself? Twitter really is brilliant.
I may not be there for the best reason or be the most popular on there or anything like that, I believe in Twitter and it's power and benefits. I mean you find out about things faster than you do the TV News channels! About charities, causes, people, meetings, new technology, problems with the world and things in it and so much more. Twitter users help their friends on there, it's astounding how many benefits and amazing little details and magnificent people are on Twitter!!!
If you don't have an account, get one and try it for 2 months, because it took me less than that time to figure out what Twitter is about. Though there is always MORE too!
Stereotyping and Jazz
October 10, 2009
My mom is a beautiful mom and person who likes peanut M&M's. Yes indeed. I told her I was writing a blog post and she said to me "You should tell them about how beautiful I am." So I am. I'm actually writing this in a car next to her, unfortunately. But she won't be able to read what I write since she is the one driving. I don't tell her what I write about, I don't tell her what I think about most things. I don't think she'd understand. But that's that right?
Plus I'm not a very good communicator. I can write my feelings better than I can tell about them and even better than I can show them. I very rarely show what I feel. I don't think my own family knows what my beliefs, emotions and thoughts are. Most of my own friends do not know how I feel. I don't want to disappoint them nor my family with what I feel.
It's hard to write about this in a car with the one person, whom I love unconditionally, in here. So I will not.
I knew what I was going to write about when I first logged onto my computer, but I find myself not wanting to. Maybe another time. Right now there is some music on. Halestorm, a band I recently heard and absolutely love. "I Get Off" is the song. Yes, if you are mature enough to know that phrase's meaning, it is exactly as you think. It's not distasteful, it's actually a very simple and slightly erotic song. It's not soft at all though, it's hard rock and an awesome song to sing to when your alone (I would know) and probably a good song to sing to your sexual partner (that I wouldn't know) it's just a guess though.
In my first post I mention I have a wide taste in music, which is true. I'm very recently getting into Jazz. But I'm picky about it. I like the soft, velvety voice of a man singing to a soft and haunting, harmonizing instrument. But I like Jazz more when it's just the instrument itself. I don't like the upbeat kind of Jazz though. Not so far. I like it when it makes your skin tingle, your heart bounce. When it gives your spine a tickle and chill because of the beauty of it. When it makes your whole body plunge into different sensations all at once that confuses you and dazzles you.
That is by far the best Jazz.
Unfortunately, I've only heard little of that kind. If anyone has any kind of recommendations I would gladly listen to them. I try to listen to an artist's song first and decide if I like their sound. I don't really go by genre but by sound. For instance I like a few of Carrie Underwood's songs and Taylor Swift's songs. They are considered country. I don't find myself liking a lot of "country" music though. I don't judge a genre but the artists themselves. And as I notice it's usually the other way around for a good majority of the world. The judge the genre more than the artist. Every artist has their own unique sound. A genre does not. It's exactly like classifying a person into one specific group. Stereotyping. People stereotype people and music into group because they don't see one person, or artist as ONE unique person.
Let me give an example of a stereotyped person I know. My friend Dyno. (It's not her real anme but I'm not putting her real one on here.) Some people would stereotype her as a nerd, bookwork, geek...stuff like that. She's very intelligent. She can memorize nearly everything you give her. Though she cannot not remember where she put her own backpack, purse, keys, drink, etc. But though she is intelligent, there is more. She's a random creature who often just says something completely mind-numbing and surprising that it makes you have to think about what she said a few times before you get it. She's clumsy. Though thankfully I put her into high heels and showed her how to walk in them and now she loves them and hasn't broken her ankle. (Knock on wood.) She loves shoes and clothes. And thanks to me, make-up. She's a rebel too. She probably wouldn't see herself that way, but she is. And she knows how to argue, annoyingly so. It's hard to beat her but I think we're tied so far on number of wins.
She has different tastes in different things and friends and places. She can not be classified as one specific thing, much like an artist.
I hope I've done my best to explain my view on this. If not- tell me and I'll try again.
Each person is unique, not to be classified with a stereotype, unless they are boring enough to CHOOSE to be stereotyped.
My mom is a beautiful mom and person who likes peanut M&M's. Yes indeed. I told her I was writing a blog post and she said to me "You should tell them about how beautiful I am." So I am. I'm actually writing this in a car next to her, unfortunately. But she won't be able to read what I write since she is the one driving. I don't tell her what I write about, I don't tell her what I think about most things. I don't think she'd understand. But that's that right?
Plus I'm not a very good communicator. I can write my feelings better than I can tell about them and even better than I can show them. I very rarely show what I feel. I don't think my own family knows what my beliefs, emotions and thoughts are. Most of my own friends do not know how I feel. I don't want to disappoint them nor my family with what I feel.
It's hard to write about this in a car with the one person, whom I love unconditionally, in here. So I will not.
I knew what I was going to write about when I first logged onto my computer, but I find myself not wanting to. Maybe another time. Right now there is some music on. Halestorm, a band I recently heard and absolutely love. "I Get Off" is the song. Yes, if you are mature enough to know that phrase's meaning, it is exactly as you think. It's not distasteful, it's actually a very simple and slightly erotic song. It's not soft at all though, it's hard rock and an awesome song to sing to when your alone (I would know) and probably a good song to sing to your sexual partner (that I wouldn't know) it's just a guess though.
In my first post I mention I have a wide taste in music, which is true. I'm very recently getting into Jazz. But I'm picky about it. I like the soft, velvety voice of a man singing to a soft and haunting, harmonizing instrument. But I like Jazz more when it's just the instrument itself. I don't like the upbeat kind of Jazz though. Not so far. I like it when it makes your skin tingle, your heart bounce. When it gives your spine a tickle and chill because of the beauty of it. When it makes your whole body plunge into different sensations all at once that confuses you and dazzles you.
That is by far the best Jazz.
Unfortunately, I've only heard little of that kind. If anyone has any kind of recommendations I would gladly listen to them. I try to listen to an artist's song first and decide if I like their sound. I don't really go by genre but by sound. For instance I like a few of Carrie Underwood's songs and Taylor Swift's songs. They are considered country. I don't find myself liking a lot of "country" music though. I don't judge a genre but the artists themselves. And as I notice it's usually the other way around for a good majority of the world. The judge the genre more than the artist. Every artist has their own unique sound. A genre does not. It's exactly like classifying a person into one specific group. Stereotyping. People stereotype people and music into group because they don't see one person, or artist as ONE unique person.
Let me give an example of a stereotyped person I know. My friend Dyno. (It's not her real anme but I'm not putting her real one on here.) Some people would stereotype her as a nerd, bookwork, geek...stuff like that. She's very intelligent. She can memorize nearly everything you give her. Though she cannot not remember where she put her own backpack, purse, keys, drink, etc. But though she is intelligent, there is more. She's a random creature who often just says something completely mind-numbing and surprising that it makes you have to think about what she said a few times before you get it. She's clumsy. Though thankfully I put her into high heels and showed her how to walk in them and now she loves them and hasn't broken her ankle. (Knock on wood.) She loves shoes and clothes. And thanks to me, make-up. She's a rebel too. She probably wouldn't see herself that way, but she is. And she knows how to argue, annoyingly so. It's hard to beat her but I think we're tied so far on number of wins.
She has different tastes in different things and friends and places. She can not be classified as one specific thing, much like an artist.
I hope I've done my best to explain my view on this. If not- tell me and I'll try again.
Each person is unique, not to be classified with a stereotype, unless they are boring enough to CHOOSE to be stereotyped.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Bad Day
October 8, 2009
Do you ever have one of those days where everything is going down the drain and then this one little thing goes wrong and you just completely go off on so many of the other things that go wrong?
Well today is that day for me. First, Twitter goes on freeze mode. Second, my mom tells me some things I don’t like. Third, I get all sorts of invites varying from the useless and stupid to the disgusting and gagging. Fourth, I log into a website and then BAM the puncher. My computer starts to go super slow and the two, I repeat TWO programs I have on go nuts and freeze and won’t close and I go bulged eyes, fierce sneering and a little nuts.
Not good. I’m a really patient person. Really. It takes a lot for me to get mad and I usually don’t have a temper. But today is just that day.
And I’m in the library so to make it worse I can’t kick my desk, swear out loud and curse anyone nor anything because I’d get in trouble and I’m almost to the point where I just don’t bloody care if I get in any bleeding trouble!
Who knew that a Thursday could be so bad? Oh. Speaking of which, my favorite, as of now, show will be on tonight. New episode of ‘Bones’ so that makes it a wee bit better.
So let’s see. I talked about my day, frustration and that bunch of crap I am no longer going to think about.
Ah yes, remember Jimmy? Well he’s here at the library again. I helped him out with a few things on his e-mail, computer and a few other things again. He used to go to computer science classes but had/has a learning disability and dropped out.
Did you know where they came up with calling a bug (AKA virus, problem etc.) a bug? It’s because the very first computer, which was bigger than my damn apartment, had a whole lot of switches for it. Well one day the computer had a problem, it wasn’t connecting.
So they got a whole bunch of technicians to check the switches to see what the problem was. Well eight hours later, yes I said eight, they found the switch that had the problem and saw what was causing that switch to screw up.
A bug. It was a literal bug that was stuck in the switch. That bug caused a whole lot of frustration. Much like today.
That’s what Jimmy told me.
“Wisdom and knowledge comes in all types and forms of sources.” –Me :)
Paranormal Activity
October 7, 2009
No subject. I have none for this blog. I didn't exactly plan to do a blog today. But today is such a slow day that I figured I'd write something. Because I mean, writing just kinda let's things out of you that you didn't really know you had in you to say, or well type. So I’m going to go on about the first thing that pops into my mind about today which is- Ah. Got it.
Paranormal activity.
Simple as that. And yet it is not. It fascinates me, intrigues me and captures my attention. Especially today. Let me tell you why…
I’m a Tweeter. Not as in a bird. Though I could try to tweet as one but I’d probably sound like a cat throwing up. Not pretty eh? I’m a Tweeter as in Twitter. I’m addicted and love it for many different reasons. One being- it brings many different people to my attention. I’m picky as hell when it comes to people to follow. But this one woman in Scotland captured my attention.
The night before I had heard noises in my home right as I lay down to bed and then tweeted about it. A follower therefore suggested paranormal activity. I don’t think it is. It’s probably just pipes, wind blowing branches against the house and animals. But trust me; I would love it if I did have an entity in my home, as long of course it didn’t threaten personal safety. Or scare the shit out of me. Because I mean, who wants that if you have to live with it all the time?
But this said follower retweeted what I said and one of her followers saw it and started talking to me. She believes her house has paranormal activity. And she is frightening by a few of her experiences, and it's not just her who's had them. I told her to take a few pictures at night with her camera and to record the night with a camcorder and go through it after wards. I also asked if she looked up her house's history and according to her she did and it had a not so picture-pretty history.
Then I went and looked up some Paranormal Investigative Groups that TAPS (The Atlantic Paranormal Society) had recommended for Scotland, because this woman is from Scotland. I gave her the names and contact information because she asked me to help her finding some help. I wasn’t about to turn her asking of help when she was frightened.
It’s sad how close-minded people can be about such things. She told me I’d been the first to take her seriously. Now I don’t have any proof this paranormal activity is real, I don’t know if what she says is true but I’m a pretty open-minded person to such things, so I’m going to take her word for it that she believes it’s happening.
This woman, whom I will not name since I’ve no permission to, told me she would keep me updated and I sincerely hope she does because I am interested in how it goes.
Now- I am not, by any means, an expert with the Paranormal, I’ve had no experience or skill with such things. But I’d like to learn. In fact I’d love to learn. I watch Ghost Hunters every Wednesday, well almost every Wednesday, I sometimes miss it. So I remember a few of the methods, gadgets and such that they do use.
Personally, I do believe that there are unexplained things how there that we are not meant to understand fully. But why should that stop us from trying? Why should we leave it be? If I had paranormal activity in my house I’d sit there talking to whatever is there. I don’t care if people think that’s crazy, stupid, immature or anything like that. I’m interested in it. Probably always will be.
There’s a Paranormal investigation at a supposedly “Haunted” hotel around my area every year for people who are interested. It’s a little over $250 to participate but I think I’ll do it next year when I get the money to do it. Yes, yes I think I will. Like I said in the beginning, it fascinates me. To think that souls either are left behind or choose to stay behind or just simply are. There are so many theories to why entities are on Earth. And I find them all so intriguing and almost genius.
Why can’t there be entities here? We humans are here are we not? Animals, plants, insects (as disgusting as most of them are) and all sort of other things. So why the bloody hell not Ghosts?
“There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” – Hamlet, Shakespeare
Monday, October 5, 2009
Photographic Memory
October 5, 2009
I’m in the library right now. And I just got done talking to a very interesting man named Jimmy. Well he did most of the talking, I did the listening. But I was at first helping him with a problem on his computer and after I fixed it he thanked me and said I was a very sharp young lady. Well after he said that we got onto the subjects of Autism and how he knew a man with it who was incredibly intelligent. This man- Herb- had a brilliant photographic memory. Jimmy told me how one day Herb and himself were talking in Herb’s library and Herb told him to get a book and open it and read a bit. So he did.
Then Jimmy told me that Herb then told him to go to any page in the book and tell him the number of the page. So he did. Herb said he’s only seen that page once and starting talking about what the page said- word by word.
Is that not incredibly amazing? That would be helpful to have in school, no? Jimmy told me to never let my mind go dormant for it was very hard to get it back into shape in all sort of aspects.
Anyways I thought I’d share all this. Usually I don’t like talking to people, but he was nice to talk to. My mom would probably freak if she knew that I actually offered to help a stranger with his computer and then talked to him. For two reasons- One, he’s a stranger. And two, I’m a distant, sometimes shy and direct person.
I learned quite a bit from this Jimmy though. It was an interesting experience. I actually remembered a phrase I’d heard once as Jimmy and I were talking about photographic memory. “Everyone has a photographic memory, most just don’t have film.”
Narcissism
October 2, 2009
Internet unfortunately is not available to me daily at my house. So I write a blog every few days and figure when I go to the library or my aunt’s house I’ll bring my laptop there and update all my blog posts at once. So that’s the reason my first two posts were updated into one day.
I don’t think I ever realized how many people were online until I realized on one site that told how many people were on that particular website that there were approximately 638,521 people online. On one single website. I, unfortunately, can not remember which website this was, seeing as I was too busy looking at my brother as if he wasn’t from the family. But it is amazing, is it not?
As for my brother, he’s the eldest, almost 20 and completely narcissistic. Honestly, I think he came from Narcissus himself because he is so completely in love with himself. It’s annoying, irrational, and hilarious all at once. But I love him. He makes me laugh, plus when he does something stupid I end people the good one. Man, that sounds horrid of me. Oh well. It’s so true.
By the way, Narcissus is a Mythological Greek Figure who fell in love with his own reflection after the Goddess Nemesis heard the prayers from the many grieving young women Narcissus rejected, causing them to wish vengeance upon him. One girl, Echo was so grieved and distraught by his rejection that she withdrew from everything and everyone into a lonely area and slowly faded into nothing but a slight whisper. So Nemesis arranged for him to see his own reflection and fall in love with it. With himself. He stayed by his reflection though, and let himself die.
Luckily my brother isn’t that bad.
I know I go into different subjects as I write but it’s what happens. I realized this when someone told me but you now what? Who cares. This is mine. All this writing is mine. You don’t like it then as I said in my second post- deal. Just thought I’d throw that in there.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)