Hey everyone. I know this is my first post in awhile and my first of November. Sadly, I have no subject to write about right now. I promised a reader from Twitter that I would update soon. I just do not have it in me to say what is on my mind right now because it is a personal, terrible and sad thing to me.
I know I owe no explanation but you shall receive one anyways. My father died on October 26th. I flew to Washington and had been there for almost a week and when what I needed to do was done I drove up with my Aunt to Oregon to stay with my Nan for awhile. I return to Arizona on the 10th of November.
As you've read from my other posts, I do not have internet at home so I will not be able to update until I do get it. So if I don't post anything after this before Tuesday then please understand I am not neglecting my blog. I merely cannot update. When I get home I may or may not write so I can update. It all depends on how I am feeling at the time. I'm afraid if I start writing everything I feel will come out and I can't handle that right now.
No, I haven't written anything lately because I've been in a bad sort of state for some weeks and am in a bit of a worse one now. Am I ill? No. I'm just in a bad emotional state that I can't handle right now and just need my family, friends and distractions.
I will not ask you to understand, because I know you can't and won't. But I will and am asking you to TRY to understand why I am not writing.
But I do promise to try to write. Much love- Amber
Hold you head up and do the best you can to keep it all together
ReplyDeleteI'm trying my best. So far, I'm doing pretty damn well.
ReplyDeleteSome say it's impossible to grow up but I disagree. Without parents, we break rules we make for ourselves & we throw tantrums when things don't go our way. We whisper secrets with our best friend in the dark & we look for comfort where we can find it. We hope, hope against all logic & experience .. like children .. we never give up :-)
ReplyDeleteYou are not obligated to write when you don't feel like writing, you don't need to hold yourself back when you know you want to say it all & you have someone who'd listen & be there when you need him/her.
At the end of the day, it all boils down to you cause one thing people tend to forget, it's they themselves who are most important! You are important & you need to do what you think is right for you :-)
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DrJay
Thank you DrJay. You're words are reassuring and quite welcome. I agree with you in every aspect. I hold myself back though because I do know I am not ready to let anyone know how I feel about my Father's death, because I'm not ready to allow people to know what I still do not know fully myself. In time, I am sure, I will fully be ready. But who knows when that time is except time itself and myself only? Thank you for everything my dear DrJay, you've been a comfort and someone whom I consider, a friend.
ReplyDelete