Here I Am

September 24, 2009

It's funny how I never thought I'd have myself a blog and yet...here I am. Maybe I never thought I'd have one because I wouldn't know what to write or because people would think I was boring or unintelligent or some other terrifying thing that I wouldn't like. But now I realize I'm not writing a blog for other people- I'm writing it for me. And if other people read it and follow or don't follow it- then so be it. If people read it and like it think I'm interesting- woohoo! And it people read it and think I'm an idiot- Get back to your own life. This is mine.

I wondered if I could write a blog, listing my thoughts and actions and daily events, letting people be free to read what my life entails. I think I can. Besides even if people do or don't read this new hobby of mine I can always go back in a year or more and see what the hell I was thinking about. We can't always remember our every thought or movement and such.

I don't think I'll update everyday. Or maybe even every other day or every two days. Maybe an update per week. Or two updates per week or three. Who the heck knows right? I don't. Maybe I'll start to fancy writing everyday. I do love to write. It soothes me at times, frustrates me at others, pisses me off to high hell when it's not going how I want it to but most of all I feel like I'm doing something right, something good and something enjoyable to me. I love it. I love the many feelings as I write, I love the twists of it, how you can make letters and sentences and paragraphs completely your own. I'm not the best writer I know but...You make writing your own. Maybe that's why I like it. Because when I write- It's mine. It's me. No one else's.

Writing. Acting. Music. Art. Film. I love all those things. I fancy myself a good writer so far- for 17 years of age and since I wrote about writing in the above paragraph I don't imagine I should here as well. Acting, well I guess I can be okay at that, I've never really been in a play, though I have done some scenes and was supposed to be in a play called Blythe Spirit as Madame Arcati, whom I picked the part of, since it was just a class play and not a school one. But we never got to rehearse much or anything because some of the students didn't want to do it and didn't feel like doing their lines and didn't think it was fun anymore and that it was boring. It really pissed me off and bummed me out that they dropped the class and that we couldn't do the play after all. I've done some monologues and in the 6th through 8th grade we had these magazines that had little plays in them, but we'd stay in our seats and just read them, but I hated it so I used my voice to act out my part of Ella from Ella Enchanted in 6th grade, of Violet in Series of Unfortunate Events in the 7th grade and Elizabeth Bennett from Pride and Prejudice in the 8th grade. Loads of fun for me. But that's all the experience of acting for me.

Now granted I don't have the loveliest voice or have any musical instruments talents, but music I do love. Rock, Pop, Worldly, New Age, Orchestra, Classical, Jazz (Without lyrics though). And though I do like some Rap, Blues, Hip-Hop, and even rarely Country music, I don't follow those musical genres as much as I do the many others that I listed. But I do love music. Music that makes you want to get up and dance, Like Michael Jackson's music, may he rest in peace and people leave him and his family be. Music that makes you want to sit down a read a good book as you dimly hear the sweet music in the background, like Mozart or New Age music. Music that makes you want to sing along, like too many different artists that make you want to sing. Music that makes you wish you could play an instrument so that you could makes the same kind of music that as interesting affects on people, like Jazz and Blues. Music is an amazing and delightful pleasure that I will never tire of.

Now being the horrible artist that I am I can't claim to paint or draw and sculpt or anything and I won't pretend that I know professional artist names or pieces or even procedures, but I do appreciate it and love to examine and look at many forms of art. Though I will admit I do know a little Da Vinci and few other artist names. But I love to examine a piece and wonder why the artist made it, what they were thinking, feeling when they did. Had they made thought of someone or something that inspired them? Was it an out of the blue image that popped into their head? How had they felt after they had been done with that single piece of creation? So many questions, not many answers. But that's what life is sometimes life so the phrase "Art often imitates life," is used quite well in that aspect.

Watching films will always be something I'll do because I love everything about them. The making of it, the acting, the costumes, the machines used, the make-up, the people involved. I like criticizing and thinking about them. I like dreaming about them and thinking about what I would do differently if I'd been in the shoes of one of the characters. Everything. They fascinate me and some even make me go into awe. When I'm in a blue fog I'll watch a movie that makes me smile and laugh, the most frequent being Pirates of the Caribbean. When I'm in a red haze of anger I like to watch a movie that makes me forget the bad or stupid and makes me smile dreamily, like Pride and Prejudice. When I'm in a green eyed moment I like to watch a movie that will make me realize that life is short and that people have it worse, such as Stepmom or Titanic or something. There's so many wonderful and different, dreamy and satisfying, laughable and heart-warming, intriguing and mysterious things and feelings about movies. I could go on and on. Movies can do that to me.

If you are reading this and wondering- "Well she told us what she likes and why, what else can she have to say?" The answer is- Quite more. And if you are not wondering that and are thinking I'm boring- Then go back to your own life, as I said in the beginning, this is mine. And if you are smiling, then I'm so very glad that I could make a person smile today. Maybe it's not because of who I am but more of because you understand something of what I said on one of the subjects, then I am still very glad that you can smile and advise you to always find or do something that makes you smile.

Life is worth a smile.